finally · i · am · no · one

thom yorke's new album, the eraser, is good. i'll admit, i'm not thoroughly impressed, but i am surprised by how good it is. and i just like it.

it's not radiohead but i like it.

this song ("black swan") is really quite good. it might be one of my favorite tracks on the album.

... i smoked my whole dimebag this yesterday and today.
... i need to stop smoking pot.
... but i love it so much!

tonight = yoga & match point. possibly a little bit of lotr? not sure yet.
ugh i watched freaks and geeks today and I FUCKING LOVE THAT SHOW. seriously; it's so goddamn amazing. especially after two bowls out of my new bong and a shitload of food.

I just checked out twelve cd's from the library: Built to Spill, Clinic, Le Tigre, some that just looked good. I really fucking love the library.

I sent in my iPod this week to be refunded. 4 gigs was just not big enough. Bring on the 20GB bitch.

Getting excited for spring, the weather's been so nice. I leave for Mexico March 24th. Okay, it's a little far away. But I'm so excited. Sun, cheap alcohol, inexpensive shopping, real mexican food.

And then in June I leave for a 6-week art school program (photography&silkscreening) in San Fransisco.
Should be a good 2006.
It just needs to get better than it has been.
I miss 2005.

Well, I've got to study for English and Chemistry. And read the pile of music magazines I haven't gotten to yet.

UGH I CANNOT STOP LISTENING TO DEPRESSING MUSIC.
ughughugh.
i had the blah-est day in the history of everything.
fucking hate wednesdays.
school's awful, i'm in this... bizarre love rectangle.

?!!??!?!

Things are going soooo well.
I totally love $5.95 spaghetti, hand games, ridiculously bloody movies, and bedroom gymnastics. Especially when they last until after one a.m.

Oui (pronounced way) is good, too.

Bon weekend.

guess what?
{eleven is my lucky number}.
{maybe something good will happen today}.
{or at least something way better than yesterday}.


my boyfriend and i have broken up. at least, i think we are broken up. i am not sure. i do not know what is going on. three months is not even a long time, but i have become used to talking to him about everything, every day, and arguing about silly little insignificant things. hopefully one of us will stop being a stubborn asshole and call the other. but right now it seems scarily final. and that freaks me out a little.


i plan on staying home all weekend, catching up on schoolwork, reading, knitting, cleaning my place, and watching weird movies [like un chien andalou].
not sure what is going on for tonight.


i had something interesting to say a few days ago, i swear. i am not sure where my mind is lately. maybe it has gone ahead to june and is having a wonderful time studying photography and silkscreening at the academy of art university in san francisco, ca.
or maybe it is just tired; like me.


i have been really busy, unable to finish anything that needs to be finished.
starting the left hand of darkness, and knitting, is all i want to do.


buuuuuut i will probably end up going out tonight, staying up too late, sleeping in too late, and regretting it saturday, sunday, and monday.
my life does not suck as much as i think it does.


i want it to be summer again, or at least spring. i am drowning in all the portland rain.
i wanted this entry to be something worth reading.
alas, it is not.


je regrette.


can i just leave for college already? please?

I have given up on cigarettes, and accepted the fact that I am afraid of commitment.
Vomiting sucks.
I hate my father's wife.
But Thom Yorke is really cute.

feeling:	crappy
listening to:	massive attack- teardrop

Journalism. Boring.
Wishing I wasn't here.
Wishing I was smoking a cigarette (Benson&Hedges), reading a book (The Left Hand of Darkness), or maybe watching that wonderful new Radiohead video I received a few days ago.
Blahhhhh.
Someone please take me to Ireland.

Off to do homework.
Yes, I am just starting, thank you for wondering.
Fuck this ethics paper.
I'm starting a band.

Oh, p.s.?
Conversations with the love of your life that are long overdue are simply wonderful.
Everyone should have one, or two, or fifty. I know I could do this all day...

It is a certain day, on which i always feel a little gloomy.
I am at a certain house of a certain friend, who is certainly irritating me.
I am procrastinating on a few papers that were due on a certain date, which was quite a while ago, I think.
And I am certainly wondering where my fucking weekend has gone.

Friday I exchanged gifts with my friend, receiving a baby blue and white polka dot t-shirt, a blue floral bag, and a radiohead video encased in a blue box.
It was a very blue gift.

Saturday, I trekked around the city of the roses with a neo-mod hip-hop addict and a French boy who looked rather befuddled, all evening. We were in search of something to drink, or something to smoke, something to do. But we ended up just getting really wet, and eating doughnuts, and watching David Chappelle. Which was fine, except I think I scared off this certain French boy by falling asleep on his shoulder for short periods of time.

And today, I woke up, went to church with my mother, and showed up at this certain friend's house. She has far too much energy for my liking, I think. And her family drives me insane, in a quiet way.

I have accomplished nothing today. I am off to pretend to do so, hopefully at my own home soon enough.

i want to have dinner with these people.
i love nan goldin.

'I wish it was the [nineties]
I wish I could be happy
I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish that something would happen'